This is a topic I’ve been wanting to share my opinions on recently: social media. I used to have all of the top social media platforms—Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok. I posted, commented, liked, and shared my way through my late teens and early 20s. Then sometime about five years ago I deleted my Facebook. That was the first one to go. Then after that was TikTok, which I stopped using about three and a half years ago. Instagram and Snapchat were the two I held onto the longest. I deleted my Instagram about about nine or so months ago, and then I finally removed Snapchat about six months ago. You will not find an active Vanessa Yevsin account (that’s me) on those platforms. I have no more personal social media accounts and I am thriving.
Social media is intriguing. It’s a way to connect with people you don’t personally see every day. You can virtually follow any person you want to get a highlight reel of their lives–and you’ve never even said hi to them in real life! There’s pros and cons to being on social media. I’m not here to sway you one way or the other–I’m sharing my own experience since removing all the major platforms from my life.
Let’s start off with my why. I deleted my Facebook account because it was an app I was hardly using since being out of high school. It didn’t serve my interests and I figured it was one less thing to keep up with–delete. Next was TikTok, which was an interesting one to get rid of. I say this because it’s such a popular app, but I found so, so much wasted time using it. Sure, you can find some purposeful videos that show you a new recipe, life hacks, or a hairstyle/makeup trend, but I was wasting my time scrolling. Many people are on TikTok, but don’t actually make videos. They are purely consumers, buying into the ‘game’ many of these apps have created. When you scroll up on reels, (TikTok, YouTube shorts, Instagram, etc.) it’s like you are playing a slot machine. You keep swiping until you find a new video that catches your attention and you ‘win.’ You just keep on scrolling to find something that entertains you as your brain releases more and more dopamine with each ‘hit.’ And don’t get me started on the algorithms…When you realize how much time can be wasted as a consumer on social media, your world will change. Thus, TikTok was no more–delete.
Instagram and Snapchat were my last to get rid of because I would convince myself that if I deleted these accounts, then I wouldn’t be able to see what my friends and family were doing on a daily basis. It was also fun to share pictures of my own day to day routines on my stories and post pictures of updated life events. I enjoyed having people who were old high school and college friends see these pictures of how great my life was–and that’s called pride (insert upside down smiley face).
I think one of the last posts I shared on Instagram was announcing our second pregnancy. Eva was nine months old at this point. The amount of times I was picking up my phone to snap a picture and post something on my Instagram story was one too many. I was noticing how often I would get on my phone to check my Instagram feed or respond to a Snapchat because Eva wanted to see my phone too. I would re-take photos to get the perfect angle or the right lighting in a picture or video of us; it was becoming too much. So, I took the next ‘logical’ step: I set up a one hour time limit per day on Instagram. Have you ever checked your screen time to see what apps you spend the most time on? It’s astonishing–at least in my experience…I was a major consumer and was getting sick of it. Did the time limit thing work though? Not really. I would just click ‘dismiss’ once it alerted me.
I kept feeling more and more convicted to delete the app by this point. I didn’t want our children growing up with a phone in their face and getting used to taking selfies on Snapchat. Isn’t it kind of a sad reality if your toddler knows how to use the Snapchat app? Or is that just the new norm these days? If it is, I don’t want to be a part of it.
There’s a new term these days called “sharenting.” Parents posting their kids online in pictures and videos (whether the kids approve of it or not) –and it usually holds a negative meaning because instead of being present in the moment with their children, all the parent does is post them on the online world. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my children to have that memory of me as they grow up. I also started realizing as Eva was getting close to turning one and we were about to have our second child that I didn’t want pictures of them floating through the internet–no matter what age they were. I understand that sometimes a picture here, or a picture there might be inevitable–but I want to keep their faces off the internet as long as I’m able to. There are some sick people in this world, and I don’t need any added photos of my innocent children to get into the hands of someone with ill will. Another thing with Instagram is that I’d been deleting followers of people I wasn’t close with on and off over the years I had it. Not giving ‘privilege’ to everyone and their mother to see my personal pictures. Then it hit me, what’s the point of even sharing these pictures in the first place? Just because of pride? No thanks. I don’t need that in my heart. So, I felt no more need to use it–delete.
Now that brings me to Snapchat. I had accumulated added friends from high school and college on my friends list over the years like Instagram. Over half of the people that would view my story I no longer had connections with. So similarly to Instagram, I would go through here and there and delete people that no longer seemed necessary to share my life with. I got to the point of deleting everyone except family! Then my husband ended up getting a new phone, and he never downloaded his Snapchat back. With him not having it, who I mainly sent all my snaps to throughout the day, I decided it was time to delete mine as well. I didn’t just delete the app. I deleted my account permanently. I didn’t want to have the desire to redownload it some other time (and the same for Instagram).
I can honestly say I haven’t looked back on my decision once. Here’s a little catch though…my husband uses Instagram for his work account, so about once every other week I will go on the app and search people I used to follow (some family, and some random influencer accounts I followed for fitness and faith) and here’s my concluding analysis by not having the app anymore: Everyone is doing the same thing they were doing six months ago….you are not missing a thing! Maybe an engagement or pregnancy announcement has happened, but on the influencer accounts not a thing is different in the grand scheme of it.
I have one last take away when it comes to deleting my social media and this is a big one: you realize who actually cares about your life. I can’t tell you how many people I thought were my ‘friends’, but once I was off social media it seemed like these ‘friends’ who were usually liking my stories and posts were nowhere to be found in my text messages and phone calls anymore. This truth really does come out. Social media has made it easy for people to connect and stay in touch with the like of a picture or a comment on your story, but is that where the connection ends? In my experience, the answer is yes.
Although the quantity of people in my life has decreased since removing social media, at least I can say it’s been for the good. Superficial connections are a thing of the past for me. I don’t want to sit around wasting time scrolling on my phone, being consumed by Instagram reels and checking Snapchat stories every time I pick up my phone. My children deserve a better mother and role model than that. More is caught than taught, mamas; remember that. Thus, I have no more personal social media and I’m thriving.
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